the ultimate eye opener dialogue of CID stupidity

girl: sir main ramesh ki behen hoon.

daya: kya tum ramesh ki behen ho !!

acp: oho to iska matlab tum ramesh ki behen ho

abhijeet: matlab ramesh tumhara bhai hai

frederick: matlab saaf hai sir is ladki ka ramesh se rishta hai

41.kya kabhi kisi ne saccha pyaar kiya hoga

kya kabhi kisi ne saccha pyaar kiya hoga

acp pradyuman says"body ko dekh kar lagta hai kisi ne piche se waar kiya hoga..."

42.Tu ashique nai dil ka chor hai

Tu ashique nai dil ka chor hai

DaYA- sir gaadi ka no.MH 02 8234 hai

43.aam hai meetha aur karonda hai khatta

aam hai meetha aur karonda hai khatta

acp-daya pata karo kaun khel raha hai sheher mein satta

44.indian economy ko bhi milne laga boon

indian economy ko bhi milne laga boon

acp-o my god daya ek aur khoon

45.kapde jyaada saaf honge agar jyaada ho khaag

kapde jyaada saaf honge agar jyaada ho khaag

acp-fredddy tu fir ghar bhool gaya apna dimaag

46.taala banane wale daya se khauf khate hain

taala banane wale daya se khauf khate hain

kyunki ab to daya ke darr se taale khud toot jaate hain

47.jo mila woh loot liya yehi hai duniya ki reet

jo mila woh loot liya yehi hai duniya ki reet

acp-ye laash liski hai pata lagao abhijeet

48.doctor se bachne ke liye roz seb khao

doctor se bachne ke liye roz seb khao

acp-daya gaadi ko aur tez bhagao

49.exam aa gaye mere sar par

exam aa gaye mere sar par

kya cid mere ghar par?

50.sooraj ke aane par murjhaya phool khil gaya

sooraj ke aane par murjhaya phool khil gaya

daya ke ek thappad se khooni ka jabda hil gaya

31.sunami ka raasta kabhi mod nahi sakte

sunami ka raasta kabhi mod nahi sakte

acp-mujrim koi bhi ho daya use chhod nahi sakte

32.khane ka maza hai tab jab saath ho paapad

khane ka maza hai tab jab saath ho paapad

acp-goli chalayega abhijeet aur daya maarega jhaapad

33.khana pachaane ke liye khaate hain haajmola

khana pachaane ke liye khaate hain haajmola

acp-dekha daya yeh aadmi ban raha hai bada bhola

34.purana ho chuka hai taajmahal ab naya kahaan

purana ho chuka hai taajmahal ab naya kahaan

acp-abhijeet woh khooni aakhir gaya kahaan

35.sachin ne maar diya pehli ball par chauka

sachin ne maar diya pehli ball par chauka

acp-daya khooni ne de diya fredericks ko dhokha

36.jo swaad seb ka hai woh aam ka nahi

jo swaad seb ka hai woh aam ka nahi

acp-fredericks mote tu kisi kaam ka nahi

37.laalchi ke liya saara paisa bhi thoda hai

laalchi ke liya saara paisa bhi thoda hai

daya ka haath haath nahi hathoda hai

38.kaanch ka mahal niche girkar toot hi gaya

kaanch ka mahal niche girkar toot hi gaya

acp-dekha daya khooni se ek saboot chhot hi gaya

39.rote rote baccha chala hi gaya school

rote rote baccha chala hi gaya school

acp-fredericks you are a stupid fool

40.kenya ke saare player catch ho gaye

kenya ke saare player catch ho gaye

fredericks-acp saab fingerprints match ho gaye

21.motorcycle mein hote hain gear
motorcycle mein hote hain gear

acp phone uthakar" hello ACP pradyuman hear"

22.aaj to aasmaan mein baadal chhaye hain
aaj to aasmaan mein baadal chhaye hain

acp gidgidakar "madam please darwaza kholiye hum CID se aaye hain"

23.jisne janam liya hai use marna hi hoga
jisne janam liya hai use marna hi hoga

acp-kucch bhi ho jaaye daya humein yeh kaam karna hi hoga

24.paas kare ronaldo goal kare rooney
paas kare ronaldo goal kare rooney

acp-pakdo use vivek wahi hai khooni

25.uthkar so gaya sokar fir jaaga hai
uthkar so gaya sokar fir jaaga hai

acp-abhijeet khooni isi gaadi mein bhaaga hai

26.spideman ka asli hathyaar makdi ka jaala hai
spideman ka asli hathyaar makdi ka jaala hai

acp-abhijeet yeh khooni to tumhari tarah kaala hai

27.aadmi kar sakta hai woh jo ek baar thaan le
aadmi kar sakta hai woh jo ek baar thaan le

daya-acp ganje kabhi meri baat bhi to maan le

28. badon se kiya gaya mazaak hot behooda hai
badon se kiya gaya mazaak hot behooda hai

acp-khooni wahi hai daya jo is khidki se kooda hai

29.baccha darkar bola papa mere kamre mein bhoot hai
baccha darkar bola papa mere kamre mein bhoot hai

acp-tumne hi khoon kiya hai hamaare paas saboot hain

30.premi bola maine ye kiya tumhari khatir hai
premi bola maine ye kiya tumhari khatir hai

acp-daya lagta hai mujrim bada shaatir hai

11.Uss pari ko jameen par kisne bulaya ...
Uss pari ko jameen per kisne bulaya.....
daya pata karo DHONI ka MAXX mobile kisne churaya

12.Bachche picnic mein apna khaana khud laate hain....
bachche picnic mein apna khana khud laate hain...
ACP bola "daya jyada imaandari mat dikhao...paisa hum bhi khaate hain"

13.dil se jiyo zindagi dil se khelo
dil se jiyo zindagi dil se khelo

acp-fredericks in sabke fingerprints le lo

14.yeh to sunami hai koi maamuli leher nahi hai
yeh to sunami hai koi maamuli leher nahi hai

dr.salunkhe-boss ye koi maamuli zeher nahi hai

15.Ye Kaali Kaali Aankhen... Ye Gore Ye Gore Gaal....
Ye Kaali Kaali Aankhen, Ye Gore Gore Gaal........

Daya ja ke karo , Suspect se kuch Sawaal...

16.jise aana hai wo aayega hi aayega
jise jaana hai wo jaayega hi jaayega

acp-daya inse kehdo koi is room se bahar nahi jaayega

17.ambuja hai accha cement kyunki ismein hai jaan
ambuja hai accha cement kyunki ismein hai jaan

acp-ab jail mein baithkar banate rehna koi plan

18.makaan maalik ne apna saara pais vasool kar liya
makaan maalik ne apna saara pais vasool kar liya

daya ke ek thhappad mein hi logon ne apna jurm kabool kar liya

19.shaam ho gayi sooraj dhal gaya
shaam ho gayi sooraj dhal gaya

acp-abhijeet khooni kaun hai muje pata chal gaya

20. suhaane mausam mein har pancchi gaana ga raha hai
suhaane mausam mein har pancchi gaana ga raha hai

acp-daya yeh case to ulajhta hi jaa raha hai

on public demand presenting irritating,hair scratching,mind bugging,deadly CID pj's

special note:- in all below jokes please assume that

• ACP is continuously moving his finger in his signature motion
• Fredericks if he appears anywhere has sick look on his face
• abhijeet is as black as he is in real
• daya is on verge of breaking a door
• Dr.saalunkhe has same worried stupid look
• about Dr. taarika i leave you to think !!
• these are deadly pj's please avoid reading them

1.daya ke dar se mujrim ne darwaza khula hi chhod diya

daya ke dar se mujrim ne darwaza khula hi chhod diya

daya bhi chaalak tha fir se darwaza band kiya aur darwaza tod diya

2.jyaada chaloge to jaaoge thak

jyaada chaloge to jaaoge thak

acp"daya isi par tha mujhe pehle se shak"

3.sooraj ko engilsh mein kehte hai sun aur chaand ko moon

sooraj ko engilsh mein kehte hai sun aur chaand ko moon

acp daya se-daya yeh suicide nahi yeh hai khoon

4.keyboard pe button hota hai TAB..

keyboard pe button hota hai TAB

abhijeet , laash ko le chalo FORENSIC LAB...

5.kaam mera ho hi gaya jaise taise

kaam mera ho hi gaya jaise taise

acp-wohi to abhijeet laash aakhir wahaan pahunchi kaise

6.A for apple B for banana...

A for apple B for banana...

.

.

.

ACP PRADYUMAN ne kaha: kuch bhi ho jaye daya,goli mat chalana...

7.paaro ka tha devdaas aur devdaas ki thi paaro

paaro ka tha devdaas aur devdaas ki thi paaro

acp-fredericks,vivek is ghar ka kona kona chhaan maaro

8.jise jo kaam karna tha woh kar chuka hai

jise jo kaam karna tha woh kar chuka hai

acp-oh my god daya yeh to mar chuka hai

9.sardi ho gayi to khaansi hogi

.sardi ho gayi to khaansi hogi

acp-tumhe to umra kaid ya faansi hogi

10.shaadi se pehle kundli milaate kyun hain

shaadi se pehle kundli milaate kyun hain

daya-acp saab aap itni ungli hilaate kyun hain

more CID and all sorts of deadly

irritating pj's coming soon

till then enjoy heart warming CID family photos

this is my first pj post read it at your own risk!!!

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call

the world famous CID.

ACP: Ohh MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi
tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !!
(Shaking his finger)
(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find
out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student ne
aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon
tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!!

ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic
lab me leke aao...dr. salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss
murde aadmi se !!
(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of
joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil
hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum dr. salunkhe ke lab se khali haat
nahi jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega
(after playin with some colour changing liquids)

Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta
hu..iska khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!...yeh kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS...sab kuch mumkin hai !! yeh dekho...(shows him his
star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger)....toh phir yeh baat hamein
kisi ne batayi kyu nahi ??...ek kaam karo...uss principal ko yahaan leke
aao bureau me...ab kya sach hai..wahi hamein batayega !!
(virus is brought to the bureau)

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai...maine kuch nahi kiya

Abhijeet: sach sach batao...uss raat campus me kya hua tha???

Virus: sssir, main sssach bol raha hu...mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??
(daya gives him his special CHAMAAAT !!!)

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya...bata ta hu...sab bata ta hu !

Fredricks: (constipated look)..sir..daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu
hai...iska 'sssss' kehna band ho gaya

ACP: Fredricks..chup raho !!

Virus: uss raat sab logo ne gay party ki thi....sab log apni underwear me
campus me ghoom rahe the....main bhi tha...lekin mere saath koi flirt hi
nahi kar raha tha...isliye main bahot gusse me tha...phir Joy aaya aur usne
mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya...maine uska helicopter gutter me fek
diya..toh woh rote rote apne room me chale gaya. aur next din humne dekha
toh uska murder ho gaya tha...lekin aap please yeh baat kisi se boliye
mat...college ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: hum kisi ko nahi batayenge...tum hamare saath co-operate karo
(virus leaves)

ACP: yahaan kuch toh gadbad hai daya....aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus
me khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahin??

Abhijeet: sir shayad logo ko pata hai...ki pehle police ko bulana
chaiye...CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur yeh kaise hua ki khooni campus me aa gaya..aur campus se khoon kar
ke nikal gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: haan vivek...kuch bhi ho sakta hai...kuch bhi (shaking finger)..ek
kaam karo abhijeet...phir se campus me chalte hain...aur acchi tarah se
check karte hain...yahaan daal me kuch kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: sir daal me kala nahi...puri daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!
(they reach the campus in their ol' faithful qualis which changes colour
every episode...but the number plate is still the same...and daya slams the
breaks....SCCHRREEEECH !!)

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum pura campus CHECK KARO....Daya tum iss campus ke
saare DARWAAZE TOD DO !!....Fredricks...tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se
entertain karo...aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hu....chalo sab
apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!
(after checking the campus)

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aiye....yeh dekho...yeh ek chatur naam ke ladke ki diary
mili hai sir...isme likha hai ki woh rancho aur rancho ek dusre ke dushman
the...aur woh rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)...OHH MY GODD !!! ab yeh Chatur kaun
hai... Good work vivek !!...iss evidence ko forensic lab le jao !

Abhijeet: Haain !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai...shayad se
iss chatur ne hi joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! aur rancho kahaan gaya...usse hi
pata hoga !!

ACP: Toh bulao iss Chatur ko Bureau mein...isse hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!
(chatur in interrogation)

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !!

Abhijeet: Dekho Sach Sach Batao !! Hamein yeh diary mili hai tumhare room
se...isme saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhein rancho se jalan thi

Chatur : (over-acting)...mujhe nahi pata hai sir !! maine kuch nai kiya hai
(Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins)

Chatur: Haan haan...maine hi khoon kiya tha joy ka...kyonki usne mechanical
helicopter banaya tha project me...aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya
tha....boo hoo hoo !! Lekin phir woh kambakht Rancho aa gaya...usne mujhe
dekh liya tha...isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya

ACP: waah...kya plan banaya tha...lekin afsos tum CID ke saamne kamiyaab
nahi ho paaye...ab banate rehna plan...JAIL me...Tumhe toh FAASI hogi